Musings of a Violinist

Inside of the her apartment, Candy had cleared the floor in the living room of her apartment. She pushed back her coffee table against the sofa and was currently sitting on her floor with her daughter, Anya. Candy was wearing khakis and baby blue longsleeves, with white, fuzzy ankle socks - her hair pulled back into a high pony-tail. Her daughter, however, wore a fuzzy purple sweater, with child-sweat-pants to match, and, well, fuzzy ankle socks. Her short, but definately blonde hair was tied up in two little pig-tails.

Candy had a rather bright smile on her face as she held her hands in the air in front of her, clutching Anya's. The toddler watched the ground with wide eyes as she tried to stand with wobbly legs. Once she got what looked like a semi-stable balence, Candy slowly let go of her daughter. The child's eyes looked as if they were going to pop out of her head, but when she didn't fall, the blonde looked up at her mother excitedly. She smiled and make a sound somewhere between a giggle and a squee, clapping her hands. Candy started clapping her hands, too, laughing. "I knew you could do it! I'm so proud of you!" Unfortunately, Anya started to bounce her legs in the excitement and wound up teetering over. The red-head caught her child mid-fall and pulled her into a hug. "That was wonderful, sweetie! Just wonderful."

Candy was in her Nexus apartment, without Anya for once(the baby being with "Auntie" Dawn). She was dressed comfortably; in jeans that had to have been fairly new, a plaid mini-skirt over her pants, and a long-sleeved, black v-neck blouse.

On the glass coffee-table in front of her sofa rested a bottle of Vodka, the same brand as the kind Candy and Reno had split when they first met. Tonight would be the first time the couple had really spent together in a long time.

Anya had recently weened, perferring bottle-drinking now. With this knowledge, Candy found that she could, in fact, have the very occasional drink now.

The red-head thrummed the fingers of her ringed hand on the table as she waited for Reno to arrive. She was exicted, knowing that this was going to be a fun evening. She'd missed just being able to sit around with Reno and talk. And drink.

This was going to prove to be an intresting evening.

VIC. I GOT YOUR PHONE CALL.

NO. YOU CAN NOT SHAVE YOUR HEAD.

What the hell are you thinking!?

Get over here. NOW.

Things have kinda settled down over the past week or so.

Anya's keeping me awake a lot. It's like she's wanting something different every three minutes. Gah, I'm starting to fear what that kid's gonna be like when she gets older.

Dawn's called me several times to let me know that I need to get back to the studio before she comes and gets me herself. I think she realizes that I have a baby now, but she REALLY wants us to finish up the recordings that should've been done over a month and a half ago. She told me to leave Anya with Vic for a couple hours a day so we can MAYBE finish everything before March.

I have recently aquired a stack of twenty or so books to keep myself occupied with when the baby's sleeping because, yes indeed, attempts at sleep are futile. I've gotten through six. I might need more books soon.

I'm thinking about getting six more pairs of shades. One for each day of the week. I can change 'em out like Michael Jackson does with his nose! That ought to be fun.


Also, um... It's getting worse. I thought the longer you're away from them, the less and less you think about them. It's not working like I thought. I thought that maybe I'd forget, but I can't. Is it really normal for me to be thinking about, well... him this much? Espically after what happened?

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Candy shifted her weight uncomfortably on edge of the sofa in her apartment to the sounds of Bach. Normally, the sounds of her favorite composer's music would delight her, but at this point the only purpose it served was to comfort and soothe Anya, who slept soundly in her crib.

In public, Candy wore a pair of sunglasses to cover her sunken, red eyes. She wore baggy jeans, long, striped stockings, and a long-sleeved orange turtle-neck. She'd stayed rational through-out the last week or so, not pulling out the antique crossbow or anything! She had focused on the baby more than anything, letting the child consume her time for the most part. When the baby slept though, that's when she was left with her own thoughts. She despised Reno for what he did but still couldn't understand how she could've lost sleep and what-not because of it. It was frustrating.

For the moment, she focused her attention to her book; Ironside. It was best to try to keep calm and composed, and for Candy, that shouldn't be a problem. Right?

You know, you TRY. You try REALLY HARD to make things work, and what happens? FUCKTARDS go off and FUCK with someone else.

I walked in on him. Not with a man, which, we've talked that out and decided that it was alright. NO, he was FUCKING A WOMAN. ON THE FUCKING SOFA! God-damn-asshole. I get fucking PREGNANT, with HIS kid, and look at what goed and does.

You know, I thought I had found a relationship that would work, I really did. 'N LOOK at what happens.

God, I can't even believe he had the... NERVE to pull shit like this. When I even EYED someone of the opposite gender, he got all defensive and acting like it was the end of the fucking world and shit, but when HE GOES AND SCREWS A CO-WORKER, I'M supposed to act like it's alright!? Goddamn it.

You know what? I was a good person, at least that's what I thought, for a change. I was an ABSOLUTE FUCKING SWEETHEART. I cared for him. I TOOK HIS ASS TO THE HOSPITAL WHEN HE GOT INJURED. And THIS is the thanks I get in return...?

He can SO rot in hell for all I care.

((My apoligizes for Candy's sudden dissapearence. My computer had to go under major fixin's n stuff (IhateGeekSquadRAWR), but now I will bring you your regularly scheduled redhead and daughter.))

Sorry I left so suddenly. I got a phone call that my brother was back. He's in the Navy, and I haven't seen him in years. When I heard he took leave, I couldn't really stop myself from rushing home. Good to see him. He loved the babe. More than disturbed by brest-feeding though.

Family. Woo.

So, my parents got to meet Anya. They flipped. Ha, I think I evaded most of the anger by their oggling their granddaughter and cooing 'n loving all over her will their parental-lovey-ness. All in all, it went better than expected.

They want to meet the father. I dunno how the hell that's gonna work.

Shortly after that, I headed back to Boston. Dawn has taken it upon herself to call herself, 'Auntie D', whenever she's around Anya. It's mildly disturbing.

Her and I are currently working on a mock CD cover. We don't get a really shint one yet. The company we're signed with wants to make sure we'll sell before they dedicate too much money to us. I don't like them much.

At least they're still being gracious about the whole taking-time-off-to-take-care-of-baby thing.

I've decided that those weird nipple-cup things are REALLy freakin' handy for public situations. MUCH easier to feed baby.

Also, diapers are the BEST Christmas gifts EVER. I got at least eight jumbo packs of 'Pampers' from friends. I literally found it to be one of the sweetest gifts. Ever.

I'm starting to get used to life without sleep. Hurray.

I need to get a new E string. Rawr on tuning without a tuner.

On a last note. Plaid rocks.

Candy had been released from the hospital. The doctors told her that she was safe to go home. So now she sat at her apartment in the nexus, wearing her old blue jeans and a silky, long-sleeved shirt. She was sitting with her knees tucked up against her on a recliner she had, but never used until now. She cradled Anya, who was bundled up in a light blue blankie. The infant was sound asleep, probably worn out from the trip back home. Candy smiled at the baby, singing a soft tune she always loved.

"Fear no more the midnight
Fear no more the sea
Close your eyes, regret nothing
You're safe with me..."

Candy's screams could be heard for what seemed like miles around. Half the other patients had to have been awaken by now. There was no morphine in the red-head's system, she couldn't stand how it felt.

"Come on Cands," said Dawn, who wore a hastily put on oversized sweater over her pajamas to rush Candy to the hospital in. Candy would've glared at her friend if her eyes hadn't sewn themselves shut from the pain. "I'm TRYING DAMMIT!" She screamed at her cellist.

"Come one now honey, breathe deep. Only a few more pushes," the doctor assured her. Candy huffed air several times before pushing again. This had to have been the wost pain she'd ever been through. "Keep going hun, you're doing great." Huff. PUSH! Candy screamed again, louder than what she had the previous times. "We're crowning! Come on just two more pushes! As hard as you can!" Huff! Puuuush! Huffhuffhuff. PUUUUUUUUSH!!!

Candy couldn't think about anything aside from the want for the pain to stop. And then it did. Not all the way of course, but now it was like a scraped knee compared to the previous pain. At the same time the pain dulled, tiny screams could be heard. Candy breathed out the biggest sigh of relief of her life.

She must've blacked out for a couple minutes, becuase the next thing she knew, a nurse was carefully bundling the baby up in a blanket. Candy struggled to sit up while the nurse walked over to her with a smile. Candy got into a proper sitting position with Dawn's help, just in time to be carefully handed her own tiny work of art. Candy's eyes brimmed with tears. I did it, I did it, I did it! She laughed lightly as she rocked the crying baby in her arms.

The nurse walked away, returning a few minutes later to Candy who was now cooing to the child in her arms. "Miss Savage?" The nurse said, holding a pen and clipboard. "...Yeah?" Candy said, realizing someone was talking to her. "It's a girl, of course. Date of birth: November third, 4:21 AM. Six pounds, eleven ounces. Fourty-seven inches long. She's a bit small right now, but that's to be expected with your body type." Candy grinned like a fool nodding, carefully running a thumb over the baby's cheek. "Do you have a name?" the nurse asked expectantly. Candy nodded, finally under control of her tears. "Yeah. Anya Cheshire Savage." She said, kissing her daughter's forehead.

( How Things Change... )

It's going to be a girl!

I found out this weekend. Dawn went with me this time. I couldn't get her to stay at the apartment. It's a girl. The doctors say she looks VERY healthy 'n strong. They lost my original files. Argh. But oh well, it's probably for the better, prevent odd looks at how fast the pregnancy's moving. Had yet another doc. Dr. Matthew Dessen. Flambouant to the max. Was very helpful though. he gave me a littl print-out picture of the ultra-sound.

Recording went over well. Aside from a couple points where I had to stop due to a sudden kick from the babe, it went smoothly. We got about three songs perfected. Pretty good, considering. We should be done in no time at this rate. Depending on when the baby comes.

I've been playing classical music in my spare time. It's supposed to be good for the baby. Make her more intellegent or something. Hopefully it works.

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
colourmeinsane goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as a pregnant chick. Oh wait, she already is one.
alec_troven gives you 1 red-orange lime-flavoured nuggets.
danieliii gives you 13 yellow cinnamon-flavoured jawbreakers.
irishredwolf tricks you! You get a broken balloon.
irrelevant_cat gives you 3 pink banana-flavoured jawbreakers.
red_head_terror tricks you! You lose 11 pieces of candy!
reluctantbelief tricks you! You lose 3 pieces of candy!
spiritswalkbyme tricks you! You get a rock.
to_somewhere tricks you! You lose 1 pieces of candy!
victormakesart gives you 12 dark green orange-flavoured gummy bats.
wild_brat tricks you! You get a block of wood.
colourmeinsane ends up with 14 pieces of candy, a broken balloon, a rock, and a block of wood.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

14! What a small number. So teeny! Oh well, I probably shouldn't be eating much candy anyways.

I have to go back to my world for the weekend. I'm leaving EARLY Friday morning. Doctor's and work. Dawn wants us to get it in gear before the baby comes.

On another note, I'm starting to miss the days when I could see my toes. A lot.

( Facts About Candy; 20 Normal, 5 NSFW )

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Ohgodohgodohgod. FOUR MONTHS!!!

I had a different doctor-lady this time, and what does she say? I'm around FOUR MONTHS PREGNANT!! I was one month pregnant less than a month ago. WHAT THE HELL!? SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THIS!

*Deep breath*

The entire visit was akward. Vic AND Reno went with me this time. Oh god, that was fun. NOBODY TALKED. You could cut the tension with a butter knife. For once in my life, I was grateful that a doctor came.

This one's name is Dr. Anne Davis. Nice gal. I got an ultrasound. It was REALLY weird. The goo they use feels like, I don't know how to describe it, it was just warm and weird. I got to see the kid on the screen though! They said they can't tell what gender it is yet. But I have been told that I'll probably start feeling some kicking soon.

I'm showing. This isn't cool. Well, maybe a little, but not really. Gah.

I miss coffee.

I went to the baby-doc with Vic. I've never seen so many expecting couples in my life. The receptionest thought Vic was the father 'cause of her name. Silly people, when will they realize all names are unisex?

So they did the ultrasound, I could barely see the kid, but it was there. The doctors asked why I didn't come in sooner. Turns out I'm about a month pregnant! What the hell? Shouldn't I have realized it sooner? I'll chalk it up to the Nexus. I get to go back for a check-up in about three weeks.

I bet Vic's thrilled she'll be able to drink coffee sooner. Heh.

I ran into a wolf again. Same one as the first one I met. So cute. It seemed a little sad though. I wonder why. I'll have to carry a sandwich around with me from now on so I can feed it if I see it again.

I got some good food information and other pregnancy-wise info from another pregnant redhead chick in the Nexus. Very thankful for that.

Took Vic with me back to Boston to see my doctor to get referred to a good obstetrician. Now I have an appointment with a Doctor Isabel Silestine for Thursday. That should prove to be interesting.

I told Dawn about the pregnancy. She didn't take it well. At all. She flipped the fuck out. I got lectured for about an hour about how this is going to affect my career. God, like I didn't already think about that. I told her we'd still be able to preform and record and what-not, it'd just take a little longer. I'm not even thinking about tours right now.

I saw Ritsuka again. It'd been a while. He's adorable, offered to play some tricks on Reno for me. He's so sweet! I'll keep his offer in mind for later.

It turns out, morning sickness happens more often than I thought it would. I have crackers next to the bed now because of it.

Water has become my new favorite beverage. Hurray for water.

Somehow, I think I may have been a little too mischevious to Daniel. I swear I was just kidding.

Dawn came up with a new peice for us to try. It's pretty quick, fun stuff. We've already sucessfully recorded three of our songs perfectly. It's weird when you're playing for a microphone instead of a crowd. Somehow, it makes you more nervous.

I woke up sick this morning. Like an 'Oh fuck, I don't want to move becuase I'm dizzy and I think I'm gonna hurl' sick. It won't go away. Bleh.

I need soup. Preferably of the chicken variety.

I called Dawn and told her that I wouldn't be making it today.I want to know how high the long-distance rates are from the Nexus and my world.

My E string broke, damn it. Those things aren't cheap. I need to hunt around the Nexus for one later.